A funny thing happened to me over the weekend-- I got sick.

03.29 Sunday morning
My voice is fairly hoarse from Saturday night's very public head-to-head shouting match but other than that, there is no indication that things were going to get worse for me. Maybe I should have considered bad karma.

03.29 Sunday night
Sometime during the afternoon, I start to develop a cold but nothing bad that I can't go to hear my 6:00 PM mass. The weather is fine and it's just a short walk from my house so I don't worry about it. When I arrive home, that's when everything starts piling up. I get a skull-splitting headache and my body starts feeling warm. When I try to sleep it off, I realize that I can't -- my colds and coughs don't allow me to get some decent shut-eye. I know that I should try to sweat it out, but even my thick flannel blanket isn't helping. I do get some little rest but I know that there is no way I can make it to work in this condition.

0.30 Monday
We think it's just some normal fever, with the headaches aggravated by my cough and blocked sinuses. My tita instructs me to take Biogesic after every meal, but I have no appetite, and am compelled to sleep the rest of day through. Because my headache keeps me from taking more than a few steps, I stay upstairs. I have a food tray sent up every mealtime. I have discovered that it hurts to work on the computer (I had to edit my younger sister's essay), watch TV, and even read. Left to my own devices, I give myself a sponge bath. Later that afternoon, a grandmother of mine (who happens to be a registered nurse) visits me. It is nice to be taken care of. My temperature hits a high of 39.5C though. After my grandmother leaves, the helpers spend the night with me. I am starting to sweat the fever out by this time, and Maria patiently wipes my back dry. I am sorry that she isn't able to sleep continuously, but the fever relatively drops. I think I fall asleep by around 4AM.

0.31 Tuesday
I get lugaw for breakfast, which is actually the first meal I've had in a while that I completely eager to eat. Strange, I know. Then my aunt brings me to the doctor. At this point, I am relatively okay. I barely have a cold, my fever has significantly subsided, and while the headache remains, I am able to move about. My doctor gives me a bunch of pills (for the cough, colds, headaches/fever and some antibiotics). Whee! He also recommends me for a CBC, urinalysis, x-ray, etc. and instructs me to take the rest of the week to recover. But the test results aren't immediately ready and it seemed like I was already on the mend, so we head back home. (I bought taiyaki -- yum! Thanks, Auntie!) I have a pretty good appetite during my late lunch, but I proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach soon after. Not a good sign.

0.31 Tuesday night
My appetite is back and my headache is now completely gone. Just to be on the safe side, I ask Maria to stay with me again. Which turned out to be a good thing, because by 2:30 AM, my fever is back. I try not to think too much about the fact that I am starting to see strange little faces on the bedspread I'm using. I cannot go back to sleep and am starting to feel a lot sorry that Maria has to wake up every time I cough, so I reluctantly decide to embrace my inner insomniac. I'm thinking that writing down this boring entry will help sleep catch up to me. Now that I've gotten to the end of it -- I'm not sure if it worked. I think my fever is down, though; I'll have to take my temperature again.

Anyway, I'll just try to update this blog entry as often as I can. Gives me a distraction. It's 4AM Wednesday. Ciao.

- from James Richardson's Vectors: Forty-five Aphorisms and Ten-second Essays
This was not the first time I saw Milty cry. The last time was a lifetime ago, but I never let him forget it. I like teasing him about it: iyakin, bondying, damulag. He never took offense. It was true, after all. He lectures me like an older brother would, but despite that I still saw the little boy in him.

Now, not so little anymore. When he and Nami finally tied the knot, I was very happy for them. A little sad, too, in a way. No more 'Sis, coffee tayo.' No more Sunday night Shell station tell-alls. But with the new life waiting for him, how can I let myself be sad? I just know he is going to be a great husband and father.

Milty is my biggest champion and my worst critic. He isn't afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. He isn't afraid to tell me when he is, either. And he never does this from some moral high ground; he always speaks with sincerity and concern that inevitably brings a lot of things to light. He kept me from making what could have been the biggest mistake of my life! Haha. I am still standing, bruised but not broken, because of him.

So that's why it wasn't hard for me to go to Boracay for his wedding. It was the least I could do for someone who has borne with all my faults and my problems -- from family to friends to work to love (wala ata akong natago!) -- without judgment. And it was truly a lovely wedding. I'm glad to have witnessed it, just as I look forward to witnessing the marriage that comes after. We stood at the beach on Saturday night, surrounded by brightly-lit paper lanterns, the wind blowing as if cued by an unseen director.  We made our wishes for Milty and Nami as we watched the lanterns fly away. I wished that there'd still be the occasional Sunday night coffee for us, but I knew that was impossible now. So instead I wished for love and happiness and prosperity, and knew that they were the wishes that got swept away gently until they were flaming dots against the dark sky.

 

Am a little late in posting last month's book list. Been a bit busy. Overall, February was a lean month, and I was mostly preoccupied with rereading Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain whenever I got the chance.

1. My Mistress' Sparrow is Dead (edited by Jeffrey Eugenides)
Touted as 'a collection of great love stories from Chekov to Munro'. As an aside, my personal favorite happens to be Kurt Vonnegut's Long Walk to Forever, which isn't in this collection. So what is? An assortment of relationships told in different genres, wrapped in different cultures. If you're looking for heady, giddy chick lit, you're better off looking elsewhere though; after reading this, I reminded myself of its stark title. I was forewarned, and I didn't pay attention. Still, I enjoyed most of the stories here, especially Mary Robison's <i>Yours</i>, Stuart Dybek's <i>We Didn't</i>, and Lorrie Moore's <i>How to be an Other Woman</i>.
 
2. Night Watch (Sergei Lukyanenko)
I was obsessed with this one. The tale is set in modern-day Russia, where vampires and wizards and other such creatures walk among us. The Light Ones work the Night Watch, the Dark Ones make up the Day Watch, and both parties try to preserve the balance between good and evil. This book is actually made up of three exhilirating stories in one, fast-paced and philosophical. I can't wait to read the other books.

3. Royal Assassin (Robin Hobb)
Second books in a trilogy tend to end with cliffhangers. This was no exception. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, making me think I'd have an easy time finishing the last of the series. Turns out I was wrong, but I'll save that complaint for another day.

14. Becoming Bindy McKenzie (Jaclyn Moriarty)
15. Feeling Sorry for Celia (Jaclyn Moriarty)
Two YA books from Australian author Jaclyn Moriarty. I was a big fan of her Finding Cassie Crazy, a story told in journal entries and letters, which certainly told me what to expect from these two books. I felt that Bindy was a stronger read compared to Celia (her first in this series, if I remember correctly). I felt that Bindy's strength lies in how craftily it captures its characters. What's even better is that it has a mystery lurking in the background, one that makes you go "Aaaah, that makes sense..." Inventive. Marisha Pessl, take note.

16. The Princess and the Hound (Mette Ivie Harrison)
The attempt to create another realized world reminded me of Shannon Hale's and Sharon Shinn's YA books, but somehow Mette Harrison's didn't do much for me. While I was certainly rooting for her protagonist, there was something here that made me disconnect from it. Okay, maybe disconnection is too strong a word. But in any case, I was always aware that I was READING instead of living the story and in the end, I felt neither here nor there. Is that strange?

17. Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro)
This book took me by surprise. Highly recommended. No spoilers, no reviews, just one enthusiastic recommendation!

I'm almost done with Eat Pray Love, but I'm wondering where the rest of my February went. Were these really ALL I read then?

On my shelf these days: Eat Pray Love (gotta finish!), Getting to Know You by David Marusek, Lankhmar by Fritz Liebner, and other Robin Hobb titles. March, give me your best shot.

I am so tempted to add this doll to my collection. Very very badly. She reminds me of my little niece! Good thing that she's coming out in August, so that gives me half a year to think about this purchase very carefully. ^_^

--
I did this meme on Facebook but I just wanted to post the results here. It's freaky and amusing:

What does your music library say about you?

--------------------------------------------
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends.
-------------------------------------------------------


What do your friends think of you?
In the Beginning • The Stills [With lyrics like 'It's nice to see you're moving on/
I know it's hard to carry on,' this is perfect haha]

If someone says, "Is this okay?" you say?
When I See You Smile • Bad English [What a weird flatterer I am!]

How would you describe yourself?
Inu Mimi Ranka • Instrumental track by Kanno Youko [Guess there are no words to describe me!]

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Stray Cat Strut • Stray Cats [I have to post the lyrics: 'Stray cat strut, I'm a ladies' cat/ A feline Casanova, hey man, thats where its at' Bagay ang answer, even if it's the wrong one! I'm not into Casanovas. :P]

How do you feel today?
You're the Only One • Maria Mena [Which is such a happy bubbly song that actually captures my mood now. And I just went out drinking so bagay din ang lines na: 'You are the only one who holds my hair back when I’m drunk and get sick']

What is your life's purpose?
These are the Days • Jamie Cullum:
These are the days that I've been missing
Give me the taste, give me the joy of someone
These are the days that bring me meaning
I feel the stillness of the sun and I feel fine

[Wow. How freakily perfect.]

What is your motto?
I'll Be There For You • The Rembrandts/Friends Theme Song [Say it with me: Aaaaawwww.]

What do you think about very often?
If You Love Somebody Set Them Free • Sting [BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]

What do you think of your best friend?
Blue and Yellow • The Used [Hmmm.]

What do you think of the person you like?
Alone • Shimokawa Mikuni [My goodness.]

What is your life story?
Adia • Sarah McLachlan [Pwede na rin!]


What do you want to be when you grow up?
Narda • Kamikazee [Specific na tao pa talaga eh. I want to be legendary!]


What do you think of when you see the person you like/love?
Crush • Mandy Moore [Total coincidence. Hahahaha! I'm loving this meme.]


What will you dance to at your wedding?
Save Me • Remy Zero [THIS takes the effing cake. And I thought Sting's If You Love Somebody Set Them Free was bad enough...]


What will they play at your funeral?
Violin Sonata No. 1 in G Major Op. 78 • Brahms [Syet. Ang galing nito. Somebody please take note.]

What is your hobby/interest?
I'm Yours • Jason Mraz [Because I'm sick that way.]

What is your biggest fear?
Over It • Everlife [HELLO! Of course I want to get over it! Boo.]

What is your biggest secret?
Moon Over Bourbon Street • Sting [With a vampire singing 'For I know what I do must be wrong' and 'I've the face of a sinner but the hands of a priest'?!? Galing. Totally untrue, but galing.]

What do you think of your friends?
You Don't Have to Say You Love Me • Elvis Presley [Grabe, napaka-martir ko naman!]

What will you post this as?
Much Has Been Said • Bamboo [Amen!]

--
Not tagging anyone -- unless I already did on FB! Feel free to do it, though! :)

Here's what I've been reading since the start of the year. I used to blog more extensively about my opinions on these (until someone killed that buzz for me). I want to go back to blogging my reviews, but for now, some quick thoughts (for Celina, Camille, and Mia -- and anyone else interested). No spoilers. Your thoughts are welcome.

1. Stick Out Your Tongue (Ma Jian)
Rich, visceral stories told in a sparse and straightforward narrative. An easy read, if by 'easy' you mean short. But the situations depicted in the book have stayed with me long after I closed the book; it's quite heavy and unsettling in that way.

2. Special Topics in Calamity Physics (Marisha Pessl)
Oh, where do I begin? It had a good premise but I found its narrator too self-indulgent. I found it painful to finish the story (for the most part, I wondered where the story was) when I had such dislike for the narrator. The author threw the reader a curveball eventually but while it was unexpected,  I found it far-fetched. I mean, here was a first-person narrator who did nothing else in the rest of the book but catalog and judge events based on her literary knowledge, a narrator who loved dramatizing everything and she does not foreshadow this at all? Parang inutot lang nya yung twist. The best part of the whole thing, I think, was when the narrator gives a speech where she does not reference a single person (well, one, I think) and speaks for herself. I would still like to see the author's other works, though; I think there is merit to her. Just please keep me away from Blue Van Meer.

3. The Princess Diaries 10: Forever Princess (Meg Cabot)
End of the Princess Diaries series. Pretty light read, but it was evident to me that Meg Cabot's and Princess Mia's voices have matured a lot since the first book. It was satisfying enough if you're a fan of the series, but if you're just starting out, I have to warn you that not much really happens in the middle of this series. You might be in for a long 10 books.

4. Austenland (Shannon Hale)
Was only interested in reading this book because I like Shannon Hale's books a lot. This was pure indulgence. I think the author felt strongly about the topic that she was compelled to write a chick fic inspired by Pride and Prejudice (I swear, this in itself deserves a sub-genre of its own). But it's still a pretty decent romantic novel.

5. My Swordhand is Singing (Marcus Sedgwick)
After hating his Book of Dead Days and loving his The Dark Horse, I wasn't sure how I would feel about Swordhand. Very interesting take. I felt as if I was really there. Sedgwick's prose has a way of doing that to you. In the end, I wished there was more of the story so that I would feel more of the terror. I found Horse much, much better, but Swordhand's still recommended for YA fans.

6. No one belongs here more than you. (Miranda July)
Thin collection of short stories. Serviceable, with Sapphic undertones. She writes with a good voice, but none of her stories particular stood out to me.

7. The Little Book of Forensics (David Owen)
Nonfiction. Just a collection of crimes to illustrate the different evidence-gathering and crime-solving methods that forensics have employed over the years. Reading the cases is almost like watching a True Crime, only shorter.

8. Color: A National History of the Palette (Victoria Finlay)
Nonfiction. Highly recommended! I just wish that the entire book came in color so there would be more illuminating photos to accompany the already illuminating black text.

9. An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England (Brock Clarke)
Still reading this one. Teenager burns down Emily Dickinson's house. Serves time. Goes back out to society. Unfortunately, someone else has started burning down houses again. Reviews said that it was a funny read; I guess I haven't really gotten to the funny part yet. :P

I have Royal Assassin (Robin Hobb) next on my list, and I just bought a short story collection edited by Jeffrey Eugenides called My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead. I'll be re-editing this post if I finish the last three books before January ends.

 

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
- The Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer

--
This will be a long post because, well, it was a long poem.

--
When I think of my friends, I inevitably think of this poem as well. I love it for the straightforward way it speaks of choosing to know a soul. Friends choose to be with you just as you choose to be with them, and it is that conscious decision that moves me to be a better person.

One nice thing about the holidays is that they allow us to meet up with old friends and new. Consider this:

Lala, kindred spirit, fellow traveler. We met up at Boracay (of all places!) and stabbed our crepes with much gusto. There is much to be said for conversations at beaches. There is an honesty to them that escapes the confines of the city, of who we usually are, the greyness of everyday. We marvelled at the circumstances that brought us together and drank our glasses dry.
The day after I returned to Manila, I immediately met up with Nikki, who was in town for a two-week vacation. We already had plans to meet up with the rest of the group the following week, but I confess that I didn't want to share her just yet. We were old friends with old things to talk about that did not require an audience. Nikki is the same as I remember her -- sweet and crass and loud and beautiful.
Of course, no holiday is complete without seeing my oldest friends from grade school/high school. The years have invariably changed us, but we are still together, still confident in the thought that no one will know us in quite the same way. Lahat kasi may kanya-kanyang kulo na konti lang ang makakaintindi. And sila na yun. Every lunch/dinner/coffee meeting is a natural takeoff from the last time. Dianne, Lestie, Eilleen and I had a great time stuffing our faces at Kanin Club, then taking our stories to Bona Cafe. But with Dianne getting married in March, Lestie just waiting for word from Australia, and Eilleen going off to London in a few weeks, I know that this year will be very different for all of us.

Somewhere during the first week of work, I also found the time to meet up with my college barkada. (Now if someone mentioned the word 'barkada,' these would be the guys who would come to mind.) They're the ones I spend the most time with, even if our schedules these days haven't been conducive to spur-of-the-moment meetings. It was a chance for everyone to say hi-and-goodbye to Nikki (and to Nards as well, we learned soon after). As we laughed at every silly thing that evening, I couldn't help but look at the group sitting right next to us. They were a bunch of friends in their sixties, maybe seventies, still taking the time to meet with each other to celebrate someone's birthday. Sana ganun pa rin kami pag tanda namin.

Over the weekend, Osing kept me company. We watched Bedtime Stories at Town, then headed home to watch three more movies. She's one of my best friends, even if she doesn't belong to any particular barkada. She's almost part of the family, the way she's around so often. And the funny part is, we don't really do much during the weekends. We just sit around and read or watch the occasional movie or read some more. People think we're opposites at first glance, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
Finally, I spent this evening with a really old friend -- my best friend from grade school! And I didn't even think that we'd ever meet up! But life always has a few surprises. ^^; There were so many things to learn about each other, the other lives that have filled the twenty years between us. But with each detail we found out (her aversion to dessert, her enjoyment of Nat Geo, our shared love for CSI and videoke), it was almost like making the best of those twenty years fit into one evening: bitin, of course, but it held the promise of another meeting.

Seeing my friends at the start of the year is almost like an affirmation. A yes-I'm-alive, a yes-I'll-stick-around-this-year-if-not-the-rest-of-your-life. And you know what? That's enough to make me feel more than blessed.

It's nice to end the year with some cheese. I love how this one was a truly amazing one for me, because it was filled with so many things for which I am grateful:
1.) My family was complete for the first time in five years. Yay!
2.) I was able to see my lovely niece Ava for the first time.
3.) I have a great job and great people to work with/for, who don't care that I very nearly ended this sentence with a preposition.
4.) I found myself riding a river down in Hanoi and being rained on in Singapore and wearing my shoes out in Hong Kong. It's the most I've ever traveled in one year.
5.) I was able to co-translate a manga chapter (with lots of help from Joy, of course)!
6.) I made lots of new friends. It made the year even sweeter.
7.) I closed one unhealthy chapter of my life.
8.) The X-Files I Want to Believe. XP

A lot of the people I love won't be with me when I welcome the new year. I've grown used to it. It still makes me hopeful for the year to come: that I might make resolutions which I can keep and which they can be proud of, that I might find myself a step closer to where they are, that my heart will always be full of love despite being alone. Happy new year, all. :)

So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!
- Peter Pan

The air was thick with maple syrup. The cotton candy glowed radioactive red and green. The trees were lit up with dancing snowmen. In the comforting warmth of strangeness and memory, we made our way across Hong Kong Disneyland.

We arrived Thursday noon, and we were just charged with excitement. I made sure I had both my point-and-shoot and my digicam ready since I wanted to send a video to my family. Of all my trips, this is the one I've wanted to share with them the most.

After settling into the Disney Hollywood Hotel (where nearly everything's Mickey!), we headed to the park itself. Disneyland is amazing! (Plus marami pang cute.) I didn't know where to look! :P We immediately got on the train, which gave us an overview of the park. I tried to videotape the sights and listen to the recording at the same time, but I don't think my multi-tasking skills were working that day. Hehe.

We took our sweet time strolling down Main Street, where we snapped photos and perused the food stalls. Then we headed to Tomorrowland to brave Space Mountain. It was our first and only official ride that day -- and I was surprised to say I really liked it! There are no loops and the drops aren't as steep as I anticipated, which is just the way I want it. I have this fear that my poor heart will literally stop during a roller coaster ride. I'm glad that Space Mountain was so much fun despite being a sanitized version of a roller coaster; I'd have ridden it again.

When we emerged from the 'mountain,' it was time for the Christmas Parade. This was a real treat because Cla, Nikki, Chrissie, and I found ourselves really great seats by the stage. I had enough time to take pictures and videos, even if my frenzied actions must have seemed amusing to the people around me. By the time the parade was over, it was already dark, and fake snow was falling over Main Street. I love how it all felt. I didn't know simulated winter could feel so... warm.

We tried meeting up with the rest of our group, but we only found Cristina. We headed off to Adventure Land to catch up with everyone and ended up on the Terk's Treehouse. I'm sure the view at the top is lovely during the daytime, but it is absolutely mysterious and alluring at night. I guess it's no wonder why nearly everyone we met in that part of the park were lovers; kami lang ata ang magkakaibigan.

Then we headed to Fantasy Land, where we enjoyed a 4D show at the Philharmagic Theater. We totally missed the fireworks because of this, but it was a great experience nonetheless. At least we got to see some of the fireworks thanks to our boss' videos. :P We were disappointed to find out that the fireworks meant the end of the day; it was only eight o'clock and we still had energy to burn. Or at least, I thought I did, because when we got to the hotel, I immediately dozed off. Hehe. So much for my so-called energy.

Friday morning we got up early for a FANTASTIC (yes, it deserves all caps) buffet at the Silver Mickey. I went back for thirds. This day, though, was our final day at Disneyland before going to Kowloon, so Chrissie, Cla and I vowed to make up for all lost time.

When we arrived, we immediately went to Fantasy Land. After our perfunctory photos by the castle (parang 'di kumpleto kung wala nito), we hit the Fantasy Land rides in quick succession: the carousel (where I could NOT get off my horse), the cups and saucers (where we came face-to-face with Evil Chrissie and her mad spinning skillz), the It's A Small World ride (a really lovely boat ride that showcased dolls in different national costumes; I think this was my favorite ride of all) and the 4D theatre (we couldn't get enough of it -- and it gave me the opportunity to win free Pocky).

Despite rushing like mad to ride as much as we could that morning, I know we were still able to enjoy the little things, like eating ice cream and watching kids play with bubbles and befriending a fellow doll collector. I can't really articulate how much fun I had during those two days there. It was like living in a happy bubble. Maybe Disneyland does that to you, cut through the commercialism and reach into your storage of happy memories and just let you feel like a kid all over again. I would really love to bring my family there some day. I think they'll all love it. Plus, did I say na maraming cute? Well, it deserves a second mention. :P

In the end, we said goodbye to Disneyland at Tomorrowland. We wanted to go on the Utopia ride but the wait time was 60 minutes; we decided to go with their version of the octopus. We rushed back to the hotel in record time. Yay! Time for Kowloon naman!

I'm really grateful to AMP for treating us to this great trip. Had an amazing amazing AMAZING time. (Don't worry, CJ, I'll post an album of our HK trip soon, so more pictures for you. :P I really think I would have been happier if you guys were there with me.) In the quiet of the house, I dust off some leftover pixie dust and make a wish.

Just dashing off with a quick post of my lovely niece. This is her with her mom, my little sister.




Miss them terribly!


--
Today is also my youngest sister's birthday. She's officially a teenager! So even if I know she's not going to read this, Happy Birthday, CJ!


--
Overtime blues at work. I need a radio script!

Things that you can't accomplish with your own powers, you ask for the assistance of others.
- Lelouch Lamperouge, Code Geass R2



chibi_plum? You were right. Code Geass is awesome.

(And you are so perfect to cosplay Cornelia. I know, I know, I'm about a year too late. But she is just awesome, I am running out of adjectives.)

--
I am a mess of tears right now but I'm glad that I took my friend Oz' advice and watched this damn series. Amazing. Amazing.

--
I'm halfway done with my Christmas shopping list. Only my best friends and relatives left.Guess this means I'll have to shop for them in Hong Kong. ^_^

--
I wish I could make more sense. But damn you, Code Geass!

Indeed, they lent a dignity and significance to everything that grew, lay, or was enacted, against them; so that the little children in their blue smocks who were playing among the rubbish on the dingy common as our cavalcade rode past, seemed to be performing against the background of Destiny some tremendous action, similar to the one expressed by the shapes of the pines and olives.
- Lud-in-the-Mist, Hope Mirrlees

Rules:
* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
* Turn to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post that sentence along with these instructions in a note to your wall.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

Hence, the quote above. Osing lent me the book last Friday and it's sitting right next to my printer. :)

--
Random things that made my weekend despite my cramps:
• I (finally) have my copy of The Force Unleashed. Yay! Yay! Yay!

• Finished the first season of Code Geass. I alternately kept shaking in anger and sobbing into a towel. I really get involved when I watch something.

• Twilight! Hahaha. <3

• Choco Lava Cake.

• Canceling debts

• Did I say Force Unleashed?!

--
Off to watch the news.

Something was bound to go right some time today
- The Lightning Strike, Snow Patrol


I used to approach takoyaki with some trepidation. I suppose it's to be expected when you think street food + seafood + Manila. Not for the faint-hearted. And frankly, the little takoyaki I've tasted (from neighborhood grocery stores to food stalls) has not done much to bolster my confidence in them.

Last Friday totally changed my opinion. My friends and I trooped to Little Tokyo (good thing it's such a short walk from our office!), where a small restaurant called Hana served us some mighty filling meals -- including the best takoyaki I've ever tasted. Every bite was filled with flavor and I thought the serving was pretty generous for the price (P100 for 6 pcs, a meal in itself). While the restaurant is open for normal hours, the takoyaki is only available at 5pm onwards. We really have to wait until after office hours to enjoy them!

I ganked this image from kaoko/kitchen cow. If that isn't enough to tempt you to give it a try, she has a review of the restaurant over on her site, and while I would normally place a hyperlink to her site from here, the html codes aren't working for some reason and I'm not too keen on seeing a url in the middle of this post. Oooh. Run-on sentence. Apologies!

--
Why is it so hard to get a bus home these days? The short stretch of Edsa between Ayala Ave and Pasay Road was strangely empty today, so I joined the throng of commuters at the corner of Edsa and Ayala, just hoping to just pull myself up any bus going in my general direction. The MMDA weren't even blinking twice that we were all breaking traffic rules. Haha.  But I guess I was in too much of a good mood today to feel cranky over something like this.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go and doesn't suit me
- Jenny Joseph, Warning



At my feet are a dead man's things, in a cardboard box near bursting. I thought most of his things had been hidden elsewhere. It was so long ago and yesterday.

When we were younger, my sisters and I often played with cardboard boxes. We used to turn them into time machines, cut out entrances and portholes with dull scissors, slip inside and turn the box around and pretend that we saw a new world when we emerged. We spent afternoons and years with those boxes.

Sadly, I grew up trusting in the promise of time machines and every year, it becomes harder for me to determine when reminiscence turns into regret. I always think I know better. I always think I know when to stop.

--
So today, a playlist:

The Planets Bend Between Us (Snow Patrol)
You slip into my arms and you quickly correct yourself

Fake Empire (The National)
Let's try not to figure out everything at once

World Spins Madly On (The Weepies)
The whole world is moving and I am standing still

Across the Ocean (Azure Ray)
Please give me some kind of sign? Is this the right place or the right time?

--
Working on an anime script. Nope, not for anything in particular; I'm just seeing this story in sparkly-eyed, slim-bodied, recklessly-impudent anime and figured I had nothing to lose. In other news, am watching Ga-Rei in between writing and kicking Shadow ass at Gekkoukan High and was distracted by this:


Custom helmets: Saving the world from stinky pets.

Which reminds me, mine needs a bath.

The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting
For a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of one sweet love
- Sara Bareilles, One Sweet Love



Went out with Mike four times this week -- record! Mostly, it was because a Spanish film festival was playing at a nearby theater. I think Mike saw 10 or 11 of the 18 films being screened. I only saw three: El Caja (morbidly funny), The Oxford Murders (oh, Elijah, I wish you were better) and Nocturna (animated film, best of what I've seen). I loved Nocturna's whimsical look. We also Igor, which featured another Eve.

--
Speaking of Eve, I caught the first two episodes of Eve no Jikan. Just two eps, but I already think that this could potentially be one of my all-time favorites. I love the art, the story, the moral dilemma... I can't wait for more!

This season, I'm also watching Ga-rei Zero and Kuroshitsuji (and Skip Beat! if the subs come out soon).

--
Met with Niner and Tricia from our book club. Haidee wasn't around this time, so we just decided on our next (first) book: Anna Godbersen's Luxe. It's far from being a literary heavyweight, but I think it's a good place to start. So far, what we've been doing during our book club meetings is to trade books (this month, I lent Susanna Clark's The Ladies of Grace Adieu to Niner and Banana Yoshimoto's Harboiled Hard Luck to Tricia) so we're looking forward to our first discussion. We're meeting again in November so I hope I'll be done with Luxe then. ^_^

--
Been reorganizing my anime and manga files. I still have a long way to go, but I've already filled up a few cd holders, so I should be good. Yay me!

--
It's off to Persona 3 land for me tonight. It's funny that for a game that teaches me to balance my social relationships, I end up forgetting everything once I get my hands on the controller. Anyway, good night!

I literally don't know your middle name. does that
matter? what systems we arrange for intimacy, small
disclosures like miniature bridges, your mouth. not
what I'd anticipated. softer. to begin with,
I should tell the truth more. I could miss you,
and that's a liability.
- Marty McConnell, from Miniature Bridges, Your Mouth



Friday night was fun. Had dinner at Sango with the Kalye Pinky people; they've always been such a great bunch. Had me in stitches most of the time. Plus the food (Sango burgers) was delish. Then I had late-night coffee with Oz and Paul, and a couple of their friends joined us after. When Oz, Paul, and I are together, we usually just listen to music or dissect our lives. That night, though, we ended up laughing and mocking each other. It was a welcome distraction from the horribly uncomfortable shoes I had been wearing the entire day.


--
Spent most of the day watching fall season premieres: Chuck, Fringe, Heroes. Still waiting for Ugly Betty to finish. I think I'll be downloading some Sarah Connor Chronicles later. Watched a replay of Survivor: Gabon. Sat through a few eps of Gossip Girl. Played some Persona 3. What would I do without you, technology?

I know I should be working on a side project that I picked up for extra cash, but I just wanted to remain preoccupied today.


--
I wish he took me a little more seriously.


--
Started writing a few fanfics (for Macross Frontier and Special A). See? Distractions. Grrrr. Seriously though, I hope to finish these. I just checked my ff.net account and embarrassingly, my last update is already two years old.

At this point, I can see the Frontier one being a bit problematic. I've always been very conscious of my consistency with canon characterization, but the characters I've picked for my story are becoming increasingly stubborn. They just might want to tell their own story without my influence.


--
I could miss you, and that's a liability.

I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on
- World Spins Madly On, The Weepies



Shinkai Makoto's Hoshi no Koe is one of my favorite anime movies. It's a glimpse of what distance can do to a relationship, but this one takes it to the extreme. A girl joins a space mission that takes her light-years away from her male best friend who, left on Earth, awaits for her text messages. The farther away she goes, the longer it takes the messages to arrives, until the guy wonders if he shouldn't be moving on with his life instead.

Recently, I came across Yumeka Sumomo's manga adaptation of that movie. She's one of my favorite mangakas (yup, even the shounen-ai stuff) and while her work was faithful to the anime, it added elements that made me appreciate the characters more. And in a beautiful coincidence, a friend of mine sent me an mp3 of The Weepies' 'World Spins Madly On,' which to me felt like the perfect accompaniment to the manga. The whole world is moving and I'm standing still, they sing, and it seems as if it is Noboru speaking: of lives put on hold, both his and Mikako's, of the consequences of (in)decision.

--
Had a really nice dinner with gravewell last night. We bemoaned the lack of good movies lately (we loved Wall-E, though) as we stuffed ourselves at Mom and Tina's along Dela Rosa. I had kani salad (good but too much Japanese mayo IMO), some pasta with bacon and olives (yum!), and dark Toblerone torte (winner). Mike called the dessert orgasmic and tried to demonstrate. XP

--
BSG, where are you? I miss you immensely! I turned to JJ Abrams' Fringe for something to tide me over, but maybe I just didn't get it. Watching it made me realize that I found The Sarah Connor Chronicles more entertaining! I suppose I'll keep watching until the fourth ep (I judge whether I should keep watching an anime after seeing eps 4-6) to see if it's worth the bandwidth.

--
You turn me into somebody loved. Thanks.

oh god it's wonderful
to get out of bed
and drink too much coffee
and smoke too many cigarettes
and love you so much
- Frank O'Hara, Steps



So lots of things happened:

A man broke into my family's house in Juneau a couple of nights ago. It happened around midnight, and thankfully, two of my sisters were still awake then. Who knows what could have happened if they weren't. When they first heard the rustling and shuffling on their front porch, they thought it was a bear. Ches woke my mom and my other sister up, grabbed the cordless, and herded everyone into my sister's room. By this time they were convinced that whatever was at the door was not a bear. They were able to call 911 in time, and later the cops told them that when they arrived, the man had already broken a window and was inside their mudroom with a flaming carton in his hand.

It was very traumatic for them, but I'm thankful that nothing happened beyond that. The man is already in custody, charged with breaking and entering, attempted theft, and attempted arson.


--
My biggest project this entire week is finally over! Yay! And on my birthday, too. It was a nice 'gift'. The production company that we worked with even had some balloons and our client even brought some pastries over. I know that I probably wouldn't have gotten such nice treats if I didn't share my birthday with my boss, but nevertheless, I was very, very touched by the effort involved.


--
Then I spent the rest of the evening with my high school friends, Eilleen, Dianne (and her fiance, Bobby) and Eman. There were a few more people I invited but they couldn't make it, but I was quite happy to turn thirty in the company of those who have watched me grow.

--
And maybe they won't read this, but I'm also grateful to the people who greeted me on my birthday. Some messaged/texted from overseas: my family, of course, Jamie and Gino, Mommy Luisa, John, Takako, Carla, Chiles, Francis, and online friends like Kaya, Akane, and Miuchan. A lot texted and left messages on my Facebook/Multiply (just too many to mention). I'm grateful for friends who text at the stroke of midnight, and those who even take the time to call. Some were early (hi, Lestie) and some were late (so far, Milton's the record-holder), but the fact is that they remembered, and it is enough.

--
Am writing this after dinner with my relatives at Cafe Año, a Filipino-Spanish resto at Westgate. Good food, if you're looking for an alternative to Sentro, and quite affordable! I even spent more on my birthday dinner with my friends, hahaha!

--
I still have some other friends to treat, including my college barkada. Maybe next week, but it's hard to get everyone together. Tomorrow, though, it's a different circle of friends' turn; well, depending on my mood. :P

--
Now what should I end with? Birthday wishes:
- to be grace under pressure
- to love without expectations
- to be strong enough for what I want
- to take every chance I get
- to surround myself with friends
- to keep safe all whom I love the most
- to get a PS3. ^_^

So what is love, then? Is it dictated or chosen?
Does it sing like the hymns of a thousand years or is it just pop emotion?
And if it ever was there and it left, did it mean it was never true
And to exist it must elude; is that why I think these things of you?
- Mystery, Indigo Girls



Got an email today that made me wonder what I was doing with my life.

--
One mistake I've never learned from is my predisposition to throwing myself into every relationship that bears the slightest semblance of love. Dangerous business, this.

--
I'm so delighted to have discovered Sakurakouji Kanako. Truth is, I read her Backstage Prince a long time ago, loved it, but forgot all about the mangaka. Recently, though, I've become acquainted with her oneshots (like Eikoaku Kizoku Goyoutashi) and other works (Gokko), and I really love them. Maybe not quite at the level of Maki Usami and Shimaki Ako's works, but enough to make me want to keep reading her other works.

--
I'm looking forward to Friday night dinner at La Grotta. <3

You wanted to know "love" in all its habitats, wanted
to catalog the joints, the parts, the motions, wanted
to be a scientist of romance: you said
you had to study everything, go everywhere,
even here, even
this ice palace in the far north.
- Sandra Gilbert, The Last Poem About the Snow Queen



On days when anime cripples me with a dramatic blow to the head, a knife in the back, I find comfort in fanfiction. They give me the closure I need. Otherwise, I end up mercilessly replaying anime sequences because I'm a glutton for punishment. I'm looking at you, Macross Frontier.


--
Ryan complains that I'm too lethargic these days. He comes by early Saturday mornings and usually tries to get me out of my bed. I end up walking from my room to where the computer is only to fall back to sleep by the couch. Then I'd wake up at around noon, and start taking a shower/eating/getting dressed which will take me a good two hours, depending on my mood. All this from a girl who used to pride herself on getting ready in twenty minutes! I don't know what's gotten into me, I really don't. But I'm glad that Ry remains as laid-back as ever; his patience with my pace and my indecision and my mood swings is something I'm always grateful for.


--
I haven't even blogged about my last visit to Singapore when I get news that the company is flying to Hong Kong this December! Wheee! If it pushes through, then it'll be my third trip abroad (the first was Vietnam in May then Spore last August), the most I've traveled in a year. I hope there are more trips waiting for me next year. I'd love to go to Cambodia or Nepal or Tibet next.


--
Rai gets married today. JB leaves for Japan within the week. My world is getting smaller and larger at the same time.